DBA EMAIL: 1/6/2009

January 6, 2009

DBA'ers,

In these trying economic times, we all need a little reassurance that we are making the right decisions to protect the things most valuable to us. We all need to Recession Proof our assets.

We, at DBA are here to help. In fact, It's quite simple.

First, walk around your house and/or office and determine what assets you need protected most. It could be your child's picture or that artwork from a future Van Gogh (you can keep the ear). It could be diplomas or certificates proving you might be able to do what you are currently getting paid to do or would like to do when this gig gets outsourced. It could be needlework or that weird string art thing from the 70's. It could be a baby dress or Blinkie from the sweetest and smartest Grandchild this side of the Mississippi. It could be the first dollar you stole......earned. If you live close to us, it might involve an autographed Bulldog, Yellow Jacket, or Elvis print, photograph, or old stinky High School Glory Days jersey. It could be....anything that is one of a kind, precious, valuable only to you, valuable to all of mankind, makes you cry when you look at it, oddly important, beautiful and perfect, and definitively irreplaceable.

Second, bring those irreplaceable assets, artwork, photos, family treasures, needlepoint to us at DonByramArt and we will apply a generous coat of DBA Recession Proof to it for you. We have highly trained, motivated, and experienced Recession Proofers (I hate to use the words, "framing geniuses" but....if the shoe fits....frame it) specializing in covering the assets of others. The DBA Recession Proofing Process is proven to be effective and guaranteed to make all your precious work totally 100% Recession Proof. We are so confident of our process that if you aren't 100% satisfied, we will double your recession back!

All you need to do is bring us the things you need recession proofed the most. Generally, Janice, our Chief Asset Evaluator....evaluates your chief assets and suggests the proper recession proofing procedures which includes the correct number of mats and their colors. This patented process protects and enhances those hard to cover part of your assets. The proper glass (example-regular recession proof glass or non-glare recession proof glass). And most importantly, she convincingly "frames" your asset in the proper context of your values and variables. That, along with a surprising modest, but reasonable amount of cash, checks, or charge cards starts the process of protecting your valuables for years to come!

Next comes a two week period of in depth review and analysis of your assets, lead by our Chief Economic Asset Analyst, VC. After an exhaustive evaluation including precise measuring and in depth inserting of flexi-points, VC systemically closes all the economic loop and air holes that traditionally have surrounded unprotected assets. In this age of crucial transparency, he will make your assets perfectly clear to all who will audit your them in your home at family get together or goofy birthday parties. If needed, he will "wire" the necessary amount of protection to the backside of your asset, which is sufficient enough to impress even the most critical of auditors....the inlaw auditors.

As for me, I stand around a lot and yammer trying to look like I know what I'm doing, while basically trying to stay out of the way of the people who actually are working and are also protecting my asset.

As an added value, Janice has been known to say a prayer over a frame job, especially shadowboxes, but that is only once in a blue recession moon and we don't charge extra for that.

So, let us Recession Proof the things that are truly the most valuable assets in your life.

As always, thanks for playing nicely,
Alan Greenspan and the Analysts of
DonByramArt